Dear Me: A Letter To The Woman I Was Before Everything Changed

If I could sit with the version of me from before that phone call, before the hospital rooms, before I ever had to learn the language of loss…I’d hold her hand and tell her a few things. Not to scare her, but to love on her a little harder—the way she would eventually learn to love herself again, even after everything.

The Letter…

Dear Me,

You don’t know it yet, but life is about to shift in ways you never imagined. The laughter will sound different. The quiet will feel louder. And the weight on your chest—it will stay for a while.

You’ll cry in the car, in the shower, on your bedroom floor. You’ll feel guilty for laughing too soon and guilty for grieving too long. You’ll question your strength, your sanity, and your faith. But here’s what I need you to know:

You Will Survive.

You’ll rise with puffy eyes and still get the kids ready for school. You’ll sign paperwork you never thought you’d face. You’ll have the strength and the courage to give a piece of your husband to a stranger to help them see. You’ll sleep with one ear open and both eyes swollen.

But you’ll also rediscover joy.

You’ll learn to laugh without feeling like you’re betraying his memory.

You’ll create memories with your babies—and not feel bad about them.

You’ll fall back in love with life…slowly, imperfectly, and beautifully.

You won’t be the same woman—and that’s okay.

Because the woman you’re becoming? She’s resilient. She’s radiant.

And she carries love and grief in the same breath like a warrior.

You’ll still miss him. Always.

But you’ll also start to miss you less—the version of you that got buried under the weight of pain.

And one day, you’ll meet her again in the mirror…stronger, softer, and braver than you’ve ever been.

With so much love and pride.

Your future self, still healing….but still standing.

Writing this wasn’t easy, but it felt necessary.

Sometimes we forget how far we’ve come because we’re too focused on how far we have left to go. If you’re in your own chapter of grief or growth, consider writing a letter to the version of you that needed this kind of love. You may be surprised by what she needs to hear.

Have you ever written a letter to your past self? Share a line with me or save this to come back to when you need a reminder of how far you’ve come.

If this letter to myself felt like it could’ve been written to you too, you’re not alone.

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—La 💙