Most people don’t understand how exhausting it is to feed a family while grieving.
It’s not just about grocery lists and seasoning meat.
It’s about standing in the kitchen, where he used to be and trying not to fall apart over a cutting board.
Cooking used to be something I loved.
It was how I nurtured my family, how I poured care into tired evenings.
But when I became the only one holding it all… it shifted.
I had to keep showing up in that same kitchen for my family of four, me and the kids, even while carrying a heart that felt cracked wide open.
Grief Lives in the Kitchen
He used to sneak bites while I stirred the pot.
He’d dance behind me, joke about burning the rice, or sit and talk while I cooked.
Now, I stir the same pots.
Stand at the same counter.
Hear silence where his voice used to fill the space.
Some days, the smells bring comfort.
Other days, they shatter me.
Because when you’re grieving, even dinner can be a battlefield.
Cooking for Four Isn’t Just About Food
It’s about showing up for your children when all you want is to stay under the covers.
It’s about creating normalcy in a house that feels forever changed.
It’s about loving through service, even when you’re depleted.
I’ve stood at the stove while crying.
I’ve burnt things from zoning out.
I’ve felt guilt at the sound of my kids’ laughter because he wasn’t there to hear it too.
But feeding them was still love.
And some days, cooking was the one thing that reminded me I still had purpose.
What Helped Me Survive Mealtime in the Hardest Season:
• Simple meal planning: Because decision fatigue is real when you’re grieving. I would prefer take out over thinking about what to cook.
• Letting the kids stir and chop with me: It turned pain into connection. It also teaches them life skills, while distracting me from my thoughts.
• Recreating his favorite meals: To keep his memory alive in our home.
• Embracing shortcuts: Paper plates. Frozen sides. Grace.
• Playing our music while I cooked: Gospel, jazz, or a playlist that carried me.
To Anyone Grieving and Still Feeding Their People…
You are doing sacred work.
You are nourishing others while barely holding it together yourself.
That is resilience. That is love in motion.
If all you managed was chicken nuggets and microwaved rice today, well baby…let me tell you just how you still showed up.
You’re doing enough.
Even in your aching, you are still giving life.
Coming Soon:
Don’t miss the upcoming freebie:
“Cooking Through Grief: A 5-Day Meal Plan for When You Have No Energy”
Created for anyone who has ever stood in the kitchen heartbroken, hungry, and unsure how to begin.
With apron strings and ache,
La 💙
