No one tells you what dating will look like after loss.
You just wake up one day, a little less numb, a little more alive, and wonder…Am I allowed to want love again?
And if you do, if you decide to open your heart, even just a little, you’re met with a world that doesn’t know what to do with your story.
So you smile nervously.
You explain.
You overthink.
You cry after really good dates.
You text your friends: “This is so weird, right?”
And suddenly, you’re saying things you never thought you’d have to say:
Things I’ve Actually Said Out Loud:
• “Yes, I’ve been married. No, I’m not divorced.”
• “He passed away from cancer.”
• “I still talk about him sometimes. Is that okay?”
• “I have three kids. They’re amazing and also navigating grief.”
• “I’m not looking to replace him. I’m just learning how to live again.”
It’s awkward.
It’s tender.
It’s sacred.
And it’s so much harder than anyone prepares you for.
The Guilt That Comes With Moving Forward
For a while, I believed loving again meant letting go.
That if I opened my heart to someone new, I was somehow closing the door on what I had.
But love doesn’t work like that.
I haven’t let go of him, I carry him with me.
He taught me how to love deeply, how to communicate, how to show up.
And now, I get to honor that by being that kind of love again.
Dating After Loss Isn’t Replacing—It’s Rebuilding
When I met my current partner, I told him the truth from day one:
There are memories I’ll always hold.
There’s grief that will never fully leave.
And instead of running from that, he respected it.
He made space for it.
He didn’t try to erase the past, he just offered to walk with me in the present.
If You’re Thinking About Dating Again…
Here’s what I wish someone told me:
• You’re allowed to miss one and love another.
• You don’t need permission to begin again.
• Anyone worthy of your heart will hold your story, not fear it.
• It’s okay to protect your peace and take your time.
You don’t owe anyone a perfect explanation.
You don’t have to know how it’ll end.
You’re allowed to want connection again.
You’re Not “Moving On”…You’re Moving Forward
And forward still includes the love you lost.
It still includes the nights you cry, the stories you tell, the part of you that will always ache.
Dating again isn’t proof that you’re over it.
It’s proof that you’re still choosing life, even when it’s complicated.
With grace and open-hearted courage,
La 💙
