The Bittersweet Blessing Of Love After Loss
They say your heart has infinite room, that you can love again, and still hold on to what was, or what you thought was supposed to be.
But what they don’t say is how complicated that can feel. What they don’t prepare you for is the quiet guilt that creeps in when someone new makes you laugh. Or the moments when joy sneaks in and grief hits you like a brick, screaming, “Don’t Forget Him.”
Grief Doesn’t Leave Just Because Love Arrives
Loving after loss isn’t about replacing. It’s about rebuilding. It’s choosing to open the door again after the storm knocked you down.
When I met someone new, it didn’t feel like the movies. It really did feel like betrayal. How could I say yes to a future when part of my heart still lived in the past?
But over time, I realized: Grief and love can live in the same house. And the love that grew after my loss didn’t erase what came before, it honored it.
Blending Familes With A Heart Still Healing
Blending a family after loss comes with unique challenges, especially when the kids are still grieving too. There are awkward introductions. There’s trying to explain that loving this new person doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten their dad. There’s trying to keep old traditions alive while giving space for new ones to grow.
It’s not easy. Sometimes it feels like you’re trying to piece together two puzzles that don’t quite fit. But when it clicks, when everyone laughs around the dinner table or finds comfort in new rhythm, It’s nothing short of holy.
Honoring The One Who Came Before
My late husband is still very much part of my life. He’s in my children’s faces, in the music we play, and in the way I still fold the towels how he liked.
And the beautiful thing is, my new partner doesn’t ask me to erase that. He respects it. Because if someone can’t hold space for your past, they don’t deserve a seat at your future.
A Love Letter To Those In Between
If you’re in the messy middle, dating while grieving, rebuilding while remembering, this is for you:
You’re not doing it wrong because it hurts sometimes You’re not disloyal because you’ve fallen in love again. And you don’t need to justify your joy.
Grief made you soft. Love is making you strong again. And baby, you deserve both.
Podcast & Book Resources
Terrible, Thanks For Asking-honest stories abour grief, joy, and everything in between. The Widowed Mom Podcast by Krista St Germain, especially her episodes about dating after loss.
The Hot Young Widows Club by Nora McInerny
How To Carry What Can’t Be Fixed by Megan Devine (a guided grief journal)
Love after loss is not the end of your grief story, It’s a new page in the same book.
One where your heart can be both thankful and tender.
Both hopeful and hurting.
Both broken and beginning again.
And that? Thats a beautiful kind of brave.
With so much love and light,
La 💙
