Her 11th Birthday Without Him: Watching Her Grow Without Her Dad

She’s 11 today.

And while the candles are lit and the gifts are wrapped, there’s always something missing.

This is her second birthday without her dad.

And while I celebrate the beautiful girl she’s becoming, I carry the ache of the one who’s not here to witness it.

Dear Baby Girl,

Happy Birthday, my sweet Moo. Eleven years ago, you made me a mom again, and changed my world all over again.

You’re growing into yourself with so much grace and courage.

And every year, I see more and more of your daddy in you.

I see him in your determination.

I hear him in your sense of humor.

I feel him in your protective heart.

He loved you so much. More than words could ever say.

And while he’s in heaven now, I know he’s still watching over you.

Still loving you.

Still smiling every time he sees you laugh.

And still super proud when his little dancer puts on a show.

What The World Doesn’t See

They see the birthday photos.

The decorations.

The cake and the candles.

But they don’t always see what we carry.

The quiet moments when your eyes look for him.

The tears your eyes form when you watch videos of him.

The questions you ask still.

The way you speak about him with love and longing.

You carry him in your heart and on your shoulder so beautifully, baby.

And It’s okay to miss him.

It’s okay to wish he was here.

The Love That Never Left

Your daddy used to joke that he needed to start getting ready now for when the boys came around. He said he’d be polishing up his Army boots and preparing his “don’t you even try it” face.

He was already planning your future, already protective of the woman you’d grow into. When I wrote that song, the one that poured straight from my heart, one of my deepest fears was that he wouldn’t be here to walk you down the aisle one day.

I never imagined your world would be this different.

I never imagined mine would be either.

But You Are So Loved, Baby Girl

God didn’t leave you fatherless.

Your daddy in heaven is still watching over you…and right here, in your everyday life, you’ve been blessed with another protector.

Someone who may not share your blood, but loves you like you’re his own.

He pours into you.

He shows up for you.

He carries your joy and your pain.

Blood couldn’t make the bond between you two any closer.

It takes a special kind of man to love a child that he didn’t create, and baby girl, you’ve been given two.

One in heaven.

One here on earth.

To Other Moms Holding Joy and Grief at the Same Time

If you’re baking cakes and wiping tears, if you’re lighting candles while carrying a broken heart, if you’re raising kids who are missing their parent with every milestone…

You’re not alone.

We can grieve and celebrate.

We can cry and still dance.

We can miss them and still be full of gratitude for what remains.

Our children deserve to feel whole.

And so do we.

Even in the middle of missing, we get to love, laugh, and keep living.

If you’re navigating motherhood through grief, you’re not the only one.

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La 💙