The Space Between Then And Now: Living In The In-Between

There’s a strange stillness in the days between Mother’s Day and the anniversary of his passing. It’s like my body knows before my mind does. I wake up feeling off—tender, tired, slightly depressed, and a bit disconnected from the world. It’s the space between grief and grace, memory and movement. It’s not quite May 15th, but it’s close enough to feel the cold in my bones.

These in-between days are harder that I ever expected.

Everyone else moves on—the baloons from Mother’s Day deflate, my inbox is back to normal, and thw rold just spins, just as it always have. But for me, everything feels like its holding its breath.

Grief doesn’t just show up on anniversaries.

It lingers. It whispers. It walks beside me quietly in the background—especially now.

In this space, i’m reminded of who I used to be.

The woman who planned dates, trips, cooked dinner with my partner, and had someone to share life’s load. I’m reminded of who i’ve become—the woman who does it all now. Even when its hard. Even when she’s tired.

But i’m also reminded of the strength I didn’t know I had. How I’ve rebuilt routines, reimagined joy, and kept going for my babies—and for myself.

The space between then and now is full of questions I’ll never get answered, love that still doesn’t know where to go, and moments of grace I never expected to find.

In These Days, I’ve Learned To:

• Rest without guilt

• Say no to what drains me

• Let tears fall without needing a reason

• Celebrate small wins—even if it’s just getting out of bed

If you’re also living in your own “in-between,” I see you. This space may feel quiet, but it’s not empty. It’s full of growth, healing and becoming. And even here—especially here—you’re doing better than you think.

—La 💙