Healing Isn’t Linear — Here’s How I Found My Way Back.
Before I started the healing journey I didn’t know I needed, I honestly thought it would come in stages. In order, trackable, hell, even on a schedule.
But grief, like God, laughed at my expectations. Some days I was unstoppable. Other days I couldn’t get out of bed. Some days I made breakfast, went to Crossfit, killed my to-do-list — and by nightfall, I was in the shower, crying my eyes out…because why? me?
If you’re here wondering why you don’t feel “better” yet, let me tell you: Healing doesn’t look like a straight line. It looks more so like a heartbeat. Messy, up and down, alive.
The Truth About Healing
Grief doesn’t ask permission. It shows up in Target aisles, at red lights, in your child’s laugh that sounds just like him. It’s not something you move on from. You move with it — every. single. day.
There were moments I felt like I was doing everything “right” — therapy, journaling, travel, workouts, hell, I even made music…and yet the pain still came in waves. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t healing though. It just means healing isn’t linear. It loops, it spirals, it pauses, it returns….and it still counts.
How I Found My Way Back (Again and Again)
Grace Over Grind: I stopped trying to win at grieving. I thought taking the time to sit and grieve would make me weak. How can I raise three little kids and grieve at the same time? I finally allowed myself to rest, to fall apart. to not be okay — without shame.
Tiny Joys: I didn’t chase big breakthroughs. I held on to the little moments: toddler giggles, my bigger kids laughing, sipping my coffee in peace, and solo backyard readings.
Movement: Boxing gave me something to hit and crossfit gave me an outlet when I didn’t have words. Movement became medicine.
Sisterhood: I started connecting with women like me — widowed, weary, rebuilding — and it changed everything. I wasnt alone anymore.
Writing: Putting my feelings into words gave my grief somewhere to go.
A Word For You, Sis
If today feels heavy, if the tears are back out of nowhere, if you’re wondering why it still hurts — you’re not broken. You’re healing. You are doing sacred, invisible work every day you get up and try again. Even if all you did was survive today, you’ve already won.
— La 💙
