Everyone around me is planning cookouts, fireworks, and family gatherings.
The stores are filled with red, white, and blue.
And my heart… is still learning how to breathe through the noise of it all.
Holidays are different when you’ve lost someone.
The energy feels loud in a way that doesn’t always feel safe.
And sometimes, freedom, the kind everyone’s celebrating, can feel like a weight instead of a gift. Because how do you celebrate freedom when your world still feels like it’s chained to grief?
Last Year, I Tried to Push Through…
I showed up.
I set up pool activities.
I smiled for the kids.
I watched fireworks light up the sky while silently wondering if I’d ever feel light again.
I thought going through the motions would help.
But all it did was remind me of who wasn’t there.
This year, I’m trying something different.
I’m honoring what I feel, not just what I’m expected to show up for.
The Truth About Grief on Holidays
• You can love your country and still feel disconnected from celebration.
• You can want to show up for your kids and still feel broken inside.
• You can be grateful for life and still grieve the one you lost.
And yes, you’re allowed to celebrate differently.
Maybe your freedom this year isn’t loud.
Maybe it looks like rest.
Maybe it looks like crying without guilt, sitting in silence, or lighting a sparkler for the one who should still be here.
This Year, My Freedom Looks Like:
• Letting go of what the day “should” look like.
• Creating new traditions instead of forcing old ones to fit.
• Choosing softness over performance.
• Allowing joy and sorrow to coexist in the same breath.
You’re Not Alone
If the 4th of July feels heavy this year, you are not broken.
You are not unpatriotic.
You’re just someone learning to carry both memory and meaning.
And that, in its own way, is a kind of freedom too.
With love and understanding,
La 💙
