I’m Not Who I Was Before: A Letter To The Woman I Became After Loss

Dear Me,

You’re not the same woman you were before.

And that’s okay.

Before the loss…

You were her — the wife, the partner, the one who had someone to lean on.

You were lighthearted, full of plans, tucked into the comfort of what “forever” looked like.

But then, everything changed.

You became the one left standing in the silence.

The one who had to hold it together.

The one who had to relearn everything — how to breathe, how to live, how to be.

⸻

I Know You Miss Her — The Woman You Were Before

The woman who smiled without second thoughts.

The woman who didn’t carry grief in her bones.

The woman who made decisions with someone else.

You miss her.

You grieve her, too.

And that’s okay.

But you’ve also become someone new —someone wiser, stronger, softer in places that used to be hard, and harder in places that had to survive.

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This Version of You? She’s Still Rising.

You cry more freely now — and that doesn’t make you weak.

You set boundaries now — and that doesn’t make you bitter.

You love deeper, hold tighter, say “no” louder.

You take joy seriously.

You are more aware of time,

of people,

of purpose.

You’ve learned that life is both/and —

Grief and joy.

Hope and heartache.

Love and loss.

And while you didn’t choose this path…

You are walking it.

And you’re doing it with grace.

⸻

To the Woman You’re Becoming

Keep softening.

Keep rising.

Keep healing.

Even when you feel like you’re starting over for the hundredth time.

Even when people expect you to be “over it.”

Even when you have to reintroduce yourself to your own reflection.

Because this version of you is not a watered-down version of before.

She’s refined.

She’s becoming.

She’s worthy of love, joy, laughter — again.

If you’re not the same woman you were before your loss, you’re not alone.

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La 💙