Our Diagnosis Day: The Moment Everything Changed

Jun 8

Written By LaLa P.

There are some days that divide your life into before and after.

For me, that day was November 12, 2021.

But unlike what you see in the movies, we weren’t sitting in a doctor’s office holding hands, waiting for answers. We weren’t across from a physician with a clipboard or x-rays or solemn expressions.

No.

He was at work when the doctor called and I was at home—nine months pregnant with our third child.

The Call That Changed Everything

The moment I answered the phone, I heard it in his voice. “I just got off the phone with the doctor and it’s a tumor babe,” he said softly. I felt the air leave my lungs, but I knew I had to be strong for him.

I couldn’t breathe, but somehow I was finding myself comforting him. It was like an instinct kicked in saying La, break down after you get off the phone with him because this is happening to him. If you break, he’ll break. He told me he was on his way home and we hung up. I immediately ran to my mom and screamed while breaking down, crying, shaking, and collapsing into her “mom, he has cancer! I cannot do life without him!”

Everything broke in me at once.

I kept thinking:

No…not him…not us…Not now, when we’re about to bring a new baby into the world.

That Afternoon At The Lake.

A little while later, he came home. He walked through the door—brave, calm, holding it together in a way only he could.

I knew we needed to leave before the kids came home. We needed to do whatever we needed to do emotionally before the kids came home. We needed to keep it all together, for them.

We couldn’t sit in the house.

We needed air.

We needed stillness.

We needed space to process what had just crashed into our lives.

So we went to the lake.

We sat there for hours. Watching the water. Listening to the wind and waves. Holding hands. Holding silence.

We talked about everything.

How we met.

Why we met.

Why we fell in love.

Where life had taken us.

All the things we’d survived together. We asked “why us?”

We cried together, a lot to where our eyes were red and puffy.

We held each other tighter.

And still in middle of all that sadness…we felt grateful.

Grateful that we’d found each other.

Grateful that we had built a life together.

Grateful that we’d created a family.

We told ourselves:

“We’re going to get through this. We’re going to beat this.”

That day, we were heartbroken and hopeful at the same time.

We didn’t know what the road ahead would look like. But we knew we would walk it together.

Life Changed In A Single Phone Call

That call changed everything.

Before that day, we were busy preparing for a new baby.

After that day, we were preparing for a new fight.

Suddenly, our conversations were filled with words we’d never had to say before: Oncologists. Chemotherapy. Staging. Scans.

I never wanted this to be our story. But from that moment forward, cancer was now apart of our life. Cancer took over our lives. And while that day broke me—it also bonded us deeper than we’d ever been before.

Looking Back On Diagnosis Day

If I could go back to that moment in the kitchen, I’d hold that version of me tight and whisper:

“You’re stronger than you think. You’re going to carry him and those babies through this. You’ll have days you want to quit—but you won’t. You’ll find strength in places you didn’t know existed.”

Because that’s what love does. It shows up even when hope feels fragile. And I’ll forever be grateful we spent that day by the water—holding space for love, grief, hope, and fear all at once. I am especially grateful to my Mom who allowed us that moment to find our way through.

A Message To Anyone Facing A Diagnosis

If you’ve just heard the words no one ever wants to hear…If you’re standing in your kitchen, breaking down into someones arms…

I see you.

I feel you.

I am with you.

You’re allowed to grieve the life you thought you had. You’re allowed to feel scared, angry, overwhelmed. And you’re allowed to hold hope—even in the middle of heartbreak.

You don’t have to do this alone.

Subscribe to my newsletter for more stories, resources, and encouragement as we navigate life after loss, love, and grief together.

With You Always,

La 💙

LaLa P.

Our Diagnosis Day: The Moment Everything Changed

There are some days that divide your life into before and after.

For me, that day was November 12, 2021.

But unlike what you see in the movies, we weren’t sitting in a doctor’s office holding hands, waiting for answers. We weren’t across from a physician with a clipboard or x-rays or solemn expressions.

No.

He was at work when the doctor called and I was at home—nine months pregnant with our third child.

The Call That Changed Everything

The moment I answered the phone, I heard it in his voice. “I just got off the phone with the doctor and it’s a tumor babe,” he said softly. I felt the air leave my lungs, but I knew I had to be strong for him.

Everything broke in me at once.

I kept thinking:

No…not him…not us…Not now, when we’re about to bring a new baby into the world.

That Afternoon At The Lake.

A little while later, he came home. He walked through the door—brave, calm, holding it together in a way only he could.

I knew we needed to leave before the kids came home. We needed to do whatever we needed to do emotionally before the kids came home. We needed to keep it all together, for them.

We couldn’t sit in the house.

We needed air.

We needed stillness.

We needed space to process what had just crashed into our lives.

So we went to the lake.

We sat there for hours. Watching the water. Listening to the wind and waves. Holding hands. Holding silence.

We talked about everything.

How we met.

Why we met.

Why we fell in love.

Where life had taken us.

All the things we’d survived together. We asked “why us?”

We cried together, a lot to where our eyes were red and puffy.

We held each other tighter.

And still in middle of all that sadness…we felt grateful.

Grateful that we’d found each other.

Grateful that we had built a life together.

Grateful that we’d created a family.

We told ourselves:

“We’re going to get through this. We’re going to beat this.”

That day, we were heartbroken and hopeful at the same time.

We didn’t know what the road ahead would look like. But we knew we would walk it together.

Life Changed In A Single Phone Call

That call changed everything.

Before that day, we were busy preparing for a new baby.

After that day, we were preparing for a new fight.

Suddenly, our conversations were filled with words we’d never had to say before: Oncologists. Chemotherapy. Staging. Scans.

I never wanted this to be our story. But from that moment forward, cancer was now apart of our life. Cancer took over our lives. And while that day broke me—it also bonded us deeper than we’d ever been before.

Looking Back On Diagnosis Day

If I could go back to that moment in the kitchen, I’d hold that version of me tight and whisper:

“You’re stronger than you think. You’re going to carry him and those babies through this. You’ll have days you want to quit—but you won’t. You’ll find strength in places you didn’t know existed.”

Because that’s what love does. It shows up even when hope feels fragile. And I’ll forever be grateful we spent that day by the water—holding space for love, grief, hope, and fear all at once. I am especially grateful to my Mom who allowed us that moment to find our way through.

A Message To Anyone Facing A Diagnosis

If you’ve just heard the words no one ever wants to hear…If you’re standing in your kitchen, breaking down into someones arms…

I see you.

I feel you.

I am with you.

You’re allowed to grieve the life you thought you had. You’re allowed to feel scared, angry, overwhelmed. And you’re allowed to hold hope—even in the middle of heartbreak.

You don’t have to do this alone.

Subscribe to my newsletter for more stories, resources, and encouragement as we navigate life after loss, love, and grief together.

With You Always,

La 💙

Grieving While Mothering: How My Kids Helped Me Survive The Hardest Days.